The Cosmic Context of Christian Marriage: A Reflection on Ephesians 5

By Pastor Stephan Joseph, Anchor Church

Marriage is often seen as a deeply personal and private relationship between two individuals—a bond of love, partnership, and shared life. However, as we dive into the rich truths of Ephesians 5, we discover that Christian marriage is far more than an isolated relationship. It reflects God’s cosmic plan for redemption, a portrait of Christ and His church, and a sacred mission that requires the power of the Holy Spirit and the support of a vibrant Christian community. In this blog post, I want to share insights from my recent sermon at Anchor Church. Together, we’ll explore how marriage fits into God’s grand narrative and how husbands and wives are called to live out their roles within the context of Christ’s mission

To understand Paul’s teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5, we must first grasp the larger context in which it is set. Imagine concentric circles—starting with the largest and narrowing down to the most intimate. The outermost circle is God’s cosmic plan for redemption, as described in Ephesians 1:10: “to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.” This includes:

1. The natural universe created to glorify Jesus.
2. The spiritual realm of angels worshiping Him.
3. The eternal plan of redemption unfolding through history.

From this grand narrative, Paul zooms in to Israel, God’s covenant people. Then he narrows further to Jesus Christ, through whom all promises are fulfilled. Afterward, the focus broadens again to include the apostles, early disciples, and the reconciliation of Jews and Gentiles into one body—the church. Finally, Paul brings us to the immediate context: the church community. This is where Christian families and marriages find their place. Marriage is not an isolated institution; it exists within the framework of God’s redemptive work through His church.

The Church as the Foreground

Before addressing marriage directly, Paul describes the kind of community that serves as
its backdrop—a Spirit-filled church characterized by humility, unity, growth, generosity,
honesty, righteousness, and worship (Ephesians 4). This is crucial because Christian marriage cannot thrive in isolation; it requires the support and accountability of a godly community.

1. A Humble and Gentle Community: Ephesians 4:2 calls believers to humility and gentleness. This sets the tone for relationships within the church—and within marriage.
2. A Unified Community: Ephesians 4:3 emphasizes unity and peace. In a world that treats relationships as disposable, Christian marriages must model commitment and reconciliation.
3. A Learning Community: Ephesians 4:15 describes believers growing in truth and love. Marriages thrive when both spouses are committed to learning from God’s Word.
4. A Giving Community: Ephesians 4:28 highlights generosity—not just financially but also in time and effort.
5. A Worshiping Community: Ephesians 5:19-20 portrays a church filled with singing, gratitude, and reliance on the Holy Spirit.

This Spirit-filled community provides the immediate context for Paul’s teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33.

Paul begins his instructions on marriage with a call for mutual submission out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Then he addresses wives and husbands specifically:

1. Wives Submit as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24): Submission here is not about subjugation or blind obedience to random sinful desires but about aligning with Christ’s mission. Just as the church submits to Christ out of trust in His love and leadership, wives are called to trust their husbands as they lead in godliness.
   • This submission is always “as unto the Lord,” meaning it never involves sin or disobedience to God.
   • It reflects humility—a willingness to prioritize unity over personal preferences.
2. Husbands Love as Christ Loved (Ephesians 5:25-33): Husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church by giving Himself up for her.
   • This love has a sanctifying purpose: “to make her holy… by washing her with water through the word” (v. 26)
   • It requires dwelling with one’s wife “according to knowledge” (1 Peter 3:7)—knowing her strengths, weaknesses, needs, and desires
   • It involves leading with humility and serving with kindness.

Paul concludes by revealing that marriage is ultimately a “great mystery” pointing to Christ’s relationship with His church (Ephesians 5:32). This means that every Christian marriage has a higher purpose—to reflect God’s redemptive love to the world.

For husbands, leading like Christ means taking responsibility for your family’s spiritual health: • Have a Mission: Submission implies there is a mission worth following. Husbands must have a clear vision for their families centered on God’s kingdom.

1. Study Your Wife: Know her needs, preferences, strengths, and limitations so you can lead her effectively.
2. Sacrifice Selfishly: Prioritize her sanctification over your comfort or convenience.
3. Encourage Holiness: Gently correct harmful behaviors or influences while modeling godliness yourself. As I shared during my sermon at Anchor Church, I encourage husbands to ask themselves daily: “How can I make my wife’s life easier today?” Love leads by serving

For husbands, leading like Christ means taking responsibility for your family’s spiritual health:

1. Have a Mission: Submission implies there is a mission worth following. Husbands must have a clear vision for their families centered on God’s kingdom.
2. Study Your Wife: Know her needs, preferences, strengths, and limitations so you can lead her effectively.
3. Sacrifice Selfishly: Prioritize her sanctification over your comfort or convenience.
4. Encourage Holiness: Gently correct harmful behaviors or influences while modeling godliness yourself. As I shared during my sermon at Anchor Church, I encourage husbands to ask themselves daily: “How can I make my wife’s life easier today?” Love leads by serving.

For wives, submitting like the church means trusting God’s provision through your husband:

1. Speak Life: Use your words to build up your husband rather than tear him down (Proverbs 14:1).
2. Trust God Over Fear: Like Sarah (1 Peter 3), choose faith over fear when challenges arise.
3. Partner in Mission: Align your efforts with your husband’s vision for your family while contributing your unique gifts.

Abigail’s story in 1 Samuel 25 provides an inspiring example of godly wisdom in action. When her husband Nabal acted foolishly toward David, Abigail intervened with humility and courage—saving her household without undermining her husband publicly. Use wisdom to navigate disagreements. Operate in faith not fear when things get hard.

Ultimately, Christian marriage is not only about personal happiness or societal norms; it is about reflecting Christ’s love for His church. This eternal perspective transforms how we approach our roles as husbands and wives:

1. Marriage becomes an act of worship.
2. Conflict becomes an opportunity for grace.
3. Sacrifice becomes a pathway to sanctification.

As we submit ourselves first to Christ and then to one another within our marriages and communities, we participate in God’s redemptive work—bringing glory to Him through our lives together. Let us remember that this high calling cannot be fulfilled apart from God’s Spirit working within us. As Paul reminds us earlier in Ephesians 5:18-20: Be filled with the Spirit! Only then can we live out these commands with joy and power. May our marriages shine as beacons of hope in a dark world—a testimony that God’s design works when we trust Him fully.